Monday, January 05, 2009

the art of persuasion

On my list to read is "Persuasion" by Jane Austen.
I cannot fathom having so much influence over a friend to sway her from her destiny of a certain love.  Have you ever read either of these books, above and below?

For the New Year, I made a promise to read more and to also put into practice some of the words that I have read, "The Art of Influence" by Chris Widener.  Most artists are often isolated and part of the work is to retreat and go within.  Much of the creative process is intuitive so to help myself, I am turning a new leaf and putting to use, the "the art of influence" and "persuasion." After all, this can only help me in many other areas of life such as raising my children and dealing with life and all the drama.

Speaking of coaxing, how do you twist things in your favor in order to solve or create a problem?  ( I am noticing that several of you are quite successful with this art.)  I encourage each of you to leave a comment, pretty please.

29 comments:

Visual Vamp said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Visual Vamp said...

I've read Ben Shawn's "The Shape of Content" - does that count?
Loving how the blog looks!
Wishing you and yours a happy 2009.
You are loved for sure!
xo xo
PS Forgive the deletion - spelling errors...

pve design said...

Val-
Yes, I shall add this to my list to read.
Wishing you and yours a year full of twists and tangos!
Happy 2009! We are having a local spelling bee here.
A library and business collaboration to raise funds. Fun!
Patricia

heidi said...

It's simple: Make them think it was THEIR idea.
I do this with my kids everyday. (and my clients.)
xoh

pve design said...

heidi-
oh - you are good.
I will check back when your varmints are teenagers and see if this theory still works for you. aha!
pve

Emily said...

Happy New Year Patricia! I just watched Pride and Persuasion last night. Now my goal is to read this wonderful book - bought it 5 years ago...time to get to work! Hmm, I like Heidi's idea for making them think it's their idea. Works for many different areas of my life! My new year's resolution...plan my menus for the week! Good luck with your new year's plans!

Emily said...

Oops, I meant Pride & Prejudice! Wow - another new year's goal is to get more sleep and proof read better!!! :)

pve design said...

Emily-
Oh, one of my favorites!
Thanks for the correction too.
Happy 2009!
pve

ArchitectDesign said...

Since I have discovered my local library, I have been reading more and loving it (which has left less time for blogging though!). I may have to revisit some of these older classics for sure -they're so great!

3 Peanuts said...

Oh good question. I know I am very persuasive and I typically get people to do what I want but I have never thought of exactly how I do it. I think communication style really is the key. Remember how I told you I was not creative or artistic (I cannot paint or draw)..... but I can be creative in my communication I suppose.

I am going to think about this one today as I go about my day with my three children on their last day of break (we are all driving each other nuts) and several workers in the house.

Kim

Kwana said...

I have not read "Persuasion" but have it right by my bed with the complete Austen works. I'll read it along with you! Like Heidi, I find the best way to persuade something to go in your favor is to make the other party think it was all their idea in the beginning. If that doesn't work fight hard and wear them down.

Debra said...

I must go along with Heidi as well. Make them think the idea was all theirs. It can be so nice to just sit back and smile inwardly to yourself. Thank you for more book suggestions for a new year. So many books... so little time!

Liz said...

Mmm... havent read Persuasion in years. May have to read that soon, I remember loving it.

Hugs,
Liz

annechovie said...

Hmmm, good question! I am actually trying to unlearn any form of manipulation, as it only ever seems to backfire, however, I think the greatest influence you can have is when people know you truly care about them, that opens the door for influence. Persuasion is probably my favorite Austen story. Have a wonderful week, friend!

Meg Blocker said...

I love Persuasion! It is one of my all-time favorites...a true, grown-up romance. Enjoy!

milly (elephants&redwoods) said...

Hi!! I learned influence tactics in graduate school, but they mainly help me understand how my boss is trying to influence me. Once you know the tactics, it's so obvious!! Let me know how those books are, they sound interseting. Happy New Year!

heidi said...

PVE: i'm so NOT looking fwd to having 3 teens at once. All bets will be off at that point. So if you check back, and still find me standing, it will be a miracle ;-)

Colour Me Happy said...

I just realized I don't have your blog on my list!! I'm adding you right now!

This is a great question! I love my enlightened blogger friends!
I find the best way to 'persuade' people is to first, be willing to give up your position or righteous point of view. When you stop being right about the issue, it gives someone 'space' to notice their own 'stuff' about it and get responsible because that's what you're doing.

Responsibility is the key (in my opinion)to powerful communication/persuasion and is the piece that moves the conversation forward instead of swirling around from one 'right' position to another.

la la Lovely said...

Hello Friend.. well I yet to put together a reading list for the year (or at least a few that I'd really like to read) but Austen books will def be on them. Too bad we can't have a book club because Persuasion is one I have yet to read.
I need some help with persuasion and influence as well. I'm not very assertive and I think a little of that is needed. But I suppose that I have learned that persuasion and more so influence isn't always about words and more so about actions and the life that you lead. If you can talk somebody into something they can be talked right out of it. But to help guide someone is a real art! Sorry to be long winded (you should see my post, it's a little long)!
Happy New Year!

la la Lovely said...

I do love Heidi's idea of making others (esp your children) think it is their idea. Very clever!!!! And should write this down for future use!

A Day That Is Dessert said...

I haven't read Persuasion...I'll add to my list. I'm trying to get through Reading Lolita in Tehran for my book club the 21st...and also my Christmas books (I think you saw them recently on a post of mine - I won't re-list). I, like Heidi, try to use the Jedi mind trick, at least on my children and husband. I've noticed Abbott has started using it too, on his little brother!

Rachel said...

Please always helps (as you clearly know!). I just always try to be as nice as possible, while still remaining firm.

Karena said...

One thing I truly believe is to really listen to the other person, empathy and kindness go a long way. I have read many of Jane Austen's, not Persuation, so that will be next!

N said...

Hmm. I guess it's less a comment on persuasion but more how I tend to relate to others. Stories.

I think telling a story that someone can relate to is the best way to not simply persuade, but gain a real connection.

Melissa Lewis said...

Ah yes, I am definitely wanting to read more in '09. This means I will have to carve out more time in my day, but I am intent on making that happen. This book looks like a good one:)

Elena said...

I'm with Annechovie. For the last several years I have been working to enhance my level of personal and professional integrity, which means no twisting allowed. Therefore I have to learn to tolerate not getting what I want (ouch), but making it my responsibility to get what I need.

A chunk of my job involved negotiating contracts, and I have to say that the raw, unvarnished truth seems to work just as well, and I'm not left with an emotional hangover!

Things That Inspire said...

I read SO much Austen in college that I have not touched one of her books since then. I have enjoyed the movies tremendously, though, so it might be time to make another foray into her works given that I am in a different point of life (and no papers to write!).

Another fascinating book on the art of influence is 'Made to Stick'. It is not so much about manipulating, but rather being aware that there are ways to market ideas and win influence that are far more effective than others. A lot of it has to do with specificity, as I recall. I might need to reread this book too!

Mary-Laure said...

Persuasion is the only Austen novel I haven't read yet. I'm saving it for a very special day...

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